Relationships are complicated. We all have a few flaws, faults and quirks - nobody is perfect. So it makes sense that some things need to be ignored, overlooked, or lovingly accepted. However, some signs are actually bright red flags flapping violently in the wind that simply must be acknowledged. Whether that means working together on a compromise or accepting that a person is just all wrong for you, here are some neon warning signs to be on the look out for.
1. They can't stop telling you how perfect you are. AKA love bombing. A classic sign of a narcissist. At first you feel like the most amazing person on the planet, but when you’ve been put on a pedestal there’s only one way to go. It’s hard to live up to such ridiculous expectations. It’s important that your partner sees you as you are - a normal, flawed, breathing human being - not some imaginary projection in their head. We all need to be loved and accepted for who we are, not how someone imagines us to be.
2. They rush a new relationship forward too quickly. They profess their love for you, plan a vacation together, talk about how many kids you’ll have, etc very early in the relationship. They’re either on the rebound, trying to sync up with where they thought they’d be relationally by now, incapable of being alone, or a malignant narcissist. Either way, NOPE, NOPE, NOPE & NOPE!
Like most things in life, stress can be good or very bad.
Good stress (eustress) motivates us, bad stress is debilitating. Mountains of research over the past few decades has clearly shown how damaging occupational stress is, radiating out to all areas of our lives. It’s vital to ensure that you have good coping strategies and the confidence to use them in the most productive way.
Being stressed at work can lead to all sorts of physical, and emotional difficulties like depression, anxiety, sleep disturbances, gastrointestinal disorders, and headaches, just to name a few. Stress can affect our work performance, damage our relationships with family, friends and colleagues and have severe consequences on our health. In fact, stress is associated with the six leading causes of death – heart disease, cancer, lung ailments, accidents, cirrhosis of the liver, and suicide – with 75 – 90% of all doctor’s visits being for stress-related complaints!
DEBORAH FARRELL (MCounPsych)